20 lessons I’ve learned

20 lessons I’ve learned

I talk a lot about changing, learning and growing along my journey. Someone recently asked me what I’ve learned – wow, where to start. There were so many lessons, some were harder to learn than others but all are important life lessons. Here’s 20 lessons I’ve learned in the past three years.

  1. Talk about things – communication is the key to healthy friendships, relationships and professional relationships.
  2. Treat a new relationship like an interview, just because someone is hired, doesn’t mean they are a sure bet. Pay attention and keep them on 90 day probation to make sure you’re evaluating the good and bad and not sweeping things under the rug.
  3. Learn to love yourself – if I don’t love myself then why should anyone else? Love the flaws, imperfections and own them!
  4. Don’t be afraid of alone time – it used to scare me to be single and to not be busy, but some times alone time helps us rediscover who we are when no one is influencing our decisions or actions.
  5. That self care is so important – a empty cup can’t pour into another
  6. Saying no is ok if done respectfully – I’m still not good at this but I’m a lot better of asking why I need to be the one to do something, which helps
  7. I can’t do everything – I like to believe I’m Super Woman, but in reality I’m human and I need to prioritize the things that matter, try to delegate other things or ask for help which takes me to my next lesson…
  8. To ask for help – this is hard for me, but asking for help is ok and actually makes me stronger to have support when I need it.
  9. To know myself, why I react certain ways, or think certain ways so I can be aware and counteract or reevaluate my reaction.
  10. Believe people’s actions not words – so many times in my life people have said all the right things, told me things would change, they want to do better, but their actions never matched their words. People can genuinely believe what they are saying, but doing it and living and breathing it is completely different.
  11. People can change but they have to do it on their own, and it takes a lot of work. I’m proof that people can change but I did therapy, homework, journaling, and work on myself. It’s so hard to change things that are sometimes programmed into us. So most the time people either don’t want to put in the work, or it’s just easier not to change – so they don’t. Again, remember number 10.
  12. We have to forgive ourselves for the mistakes we make – they don’t define our future just help shape it. I have made my share of mistakes, but I will not let them overshadow my progress and all the great things I’ve done. Only when we repeat mistakes and don’t learn from them do they define us.
  13. Always do the right thing, no matter how the other person might react. We should rise above immaturity or petty actions and treat others with respect and always do the right thing. My boss is constantly repeating this over and over to everyone: treat people with respect and do the right thing. Thanks Bulldog!
  14. If there are red warning lights going off, don’t ignore them. You don’t have to react, but you can’t make excuses or write them off. Be aware.
  15. Don’t fantasize about the future, live in the present so we aren’t making decisions based off what might be.
  16. If you never ask, the answer will never be yes. I used to assume or rationalize in my head the answer would be no, so I would just not ask. One day I realized what’s the downside to asking – a no, and if that’s the worst case scenario than why not take the chance.
  17. If you never try, you will never fail, but more importantly you will never succeed or achieve. Don’t let the fear of failure hold you back. No one hits it out of the park the first time at bat, it takes practice and many failures before hitting that homerun. Learn more about getting out of your comfort zone.
  18. Don’t worry about what others may think, your opinion matters and you shouldn’t live your life to please others because you’ll never please everyone.
  19. Learn from the past – don’t beat yourself up for past mistakes because no good can come of it, instead learn from it and move forward and do better next time.
  20. To stand up for myself – if you don’t stand up for yourself, who will?

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